Сумерки

           "Well,then,I’llseeyouverysoon."

           Ihungup.

           Iranfromtheroom,throughthedoor,outintothebakingheat.

           Therewasnotimetolookbackatmyhouse,andIdidn’twanttoseeitasitwasnow-empty,asymboloffearinsteadofsanctuary.Thelastpersontowalkthroughthosefamiliarroomswasmyenemy.

           Fromthecornerofmyeye,IcouldalmostseemymotherstandingintheshadeofthebigeucalyptustreewhereI’dplayedasachild.Orkneeling

           bythelittleplotofdirtaroundthemailbox,thecemeteryofalltheflowersshe’dtriedtogrow.ThememorieswerebetterthananyrealityIwouldseetoday.ButIracedawayfromthem,towardthecorner,leavingeverythingbehindme.

           Ifeltsoslow,likeIwasrunningthroughwetsand-Icouldn’tseemtogetenoughpurchasefromtheconcrete.Itrippedseveraltimes,oncefalling,catchingmyselfwithmyhands,scrapingthemonthesidewalk,andthenlurchinguptoplungeforwardagain.ButatlastImadeittothecorner.Justanotherstreetnow;Iran,sweatpouringdownmyface,gasping.Thesunwashotonmyskin,toobrightasitbouncedoffthewhiteconcreteandblindedme.Ifeltdangerouslyexposed.MorefiercelythanIwouldhavedreamedIwascapableof,Iwishedforthegreen,protectiveforestsofForks...ofhome.

           WhenIroundedthelastcorner,ontoCactus,Icouldseethestudio,lookingjustasIrememberedit.Theparkinglotinfrontwasempty,theverticalblindsinallthewindowsdrawn.Icouldn’trunanymore-Icouldn’tbreathe;exertionandfearhadgottenthebestofme.