Таинственная история Билли Миллигана

           Hewasafraidofwhatotherprisonersmightdotohimnowthatthewordwasoutthathehadalesbianpersonality.

           Hetoldher,"IftheyfindmeguiltyandsendmebacktoLebanon,IknowI’llhavetodie."

           "ThenChalmerwillhavewon."

           "Well,whatdoIdo?Ihaveallthishatebottledupinsideme.Ican’thandleit."

           Althoughsherarelygaveadviceorinstructions,preferringthenondirectivemethodofallowingthepatienttoleadtheway,sheknewtherewasnotimeforsuchtherapy.

           "Youcouldputhatetopositiveuse,"shesuggested."Yousufferedfromchildabuse.Youcoulddefeatthosehorriblememories,andthemanyousayinflictedthem,bydedicatingyourlifetothefightagainstchildabuse.Alive,youcanworkforacauseandwin.Ifyoudie,thenthemanwhoabusedyouwins,andyoulose."

           Laterthatday,talkingtoDonnaEgarinhisroom,BillyreachedunderhisbedandpulledouttherazorbladeTommyhadtapedtotheslatnearlysevenmonthsearlier.

           "Here,"hesaid,handingittoher."Idon’tneedthisanymore.Iwanttolive."

           Thereweretearsinhereyesasshehuggedhim.

           HetoldRosalie,"Idon’twanttogotomini-group.I’vegottopreparemyselftobealone.I’vegottohardenmyself.Nogood-bys."

           Butthemini-groupmadefarewellcardsforhim,andwhenRosaliebroughtthemtohim,helethimselfcry