Цветы для Элджернона

           Themoreshetouchesme,themorefrightenedIbecomebe­causeIknowImustnevertouchagirl.Then,asherbodyrubsupagainstmine,Ifeelastrangebubblingandthrob­binginsidemethatmakesmewarm.ButwhenIlookupIseeabloodyknifeinherhands.

           ItrytoscreamasIrun,butnosoundcomesoutofmythroat,andmypocketsareempty.IsearchinmypocketsbutIdon’tknowwhatitisI’velostorwhyIwashidingit.Iknowonlythatit’sgone,andthereisbloodonmyhandstoo.

           WhenIwokeup,IthoughtofAlice,andIhadthesamefeelingofpanicasinthedream.WhatamIafraidof?Somethingabouttheknife.

           Imademyselfacupofcoffeeandsmokedacigarette.I’dneverhadadreamlikeitbefore,andIknewitwasconnectedwithmyeveningwithAlice.Ihavebeguntothinkofherinadifferentway.

           Freeassociationisstilldifficult,becauseit’shardnottocontrolthedirectionofyourthoughts...justtoleaveyourmindopenandletanythingflowintoit...ideasbubblingtothesurfacelikeabubblebath...awomanbathing...agirl...Normatakingabath...Iamwatchingthroughthekeyhole...andwhenshegetsoutofthetubtodryherselfIseethatherbodyisdifferentfrommine.Somethingismissing.