Цветы для Элджернона

           Aswhenmentokeepfrombeingsweptover­boardinthestormclutchateachother’shandstoresistbeingtornapart,soourbodiesfusedalinkinthehumanchainthatkeptusfrombeingsweptintonothing.

           AndinthemomentbeforeIfelloffintosleep,Ire­memberedthewayithadbeenbetweenFayandmyself,andIsmiled.Nowonderthathadbeeneasy.Ithadbeenonlyphysical.ThiswithAlicewasamystery.

           Ileanedoverandkissedhereyes.

           Aliceknowseverythingaboutmenow,andacceptsthefactthatwecanbetogetherforonlyashortwhile.ShehasagreedtogoawaywhenItellhertogo.It’spainfultothinkaboutthat,butwhatwehave,Isuspect,ismorethanmostpeoplefindinalifetime.

           October14

           Iwakeupinthemorninganddon’tknowwhereIamorwhatI’mdoinghere,andthenIseeherbe­sidemeandIremember.Shesenseswhensomethingishappeningtome,andshemovesquietlyaroundtheapart­ment,makingbreakfast,cleaninguptheplace,orgoingoutandleavingmetomyself,withoutanyquestions.

           Wewenttoaconcertthisevening,butIgotboredandweleftinthemiddle.Can’tseemtopaymuchattentionanymore.IwentbecauseIknowIusedtolikeStravinskybutsomehowInolongerhavethepatienceforit.

           TheonlybadthingabouthavingAliceherewithmeisthatnowIfeelIshouldfightthisthing.Iwanttostoptime,freezemyselfatthislevelandneverletgoofher.

           October17

           Whycan’tIremember?I’vegottotrytore­sistthisslackness.