Цветы для Элджернона

           It’stoosmall!Ican’tgetthrough!

           AndsuddenlyIamhurledagainstthewalls,againandagain,andforcedthroughtheopeningwherethelightthreatenstoburstmyeyes.Again,IknowIwillpiercethecrustintothatholylight.MorethanIcanbear.PainasIhaveneverknown,andcoldness,andnausea,andthegreatbuzzingovermyheadflappinglikeathousandwings.Iopenmyeyes,blindedbytheintenselight.Andflailtheairandtrembleandscream.

           Icameoutofitattheinsistenceofahandshakingmeroughly.Dr.Strauss.

           "ThankGod,"hesaid,whenIlookedintohiseyes."Youhadmeworried."

           Ishookmyhead."I’mallright."

           "Ithinkmaybethat’sallfortoday."

           IgotupandswayedasIregainedmyperspective.Theroomseemedverysmall."Notonlyfortoday,"Isaid."Idon’tthinkIshouldhaveanymoresessions.Idon’twanttoseeanymore."

           Hewasupset,buthedidn’ttrytotalkmeoutofit.Itookmyhatandcoatandleft.

           Andnow—Plato’swordsmockmeintheshadowsontheledgebehindtheflames:

           "...themenofthecavewouldsayofhimthatuphewentanddownhecamewithouthiseyes"

           October5

           Sittingdowntotypethesereportsisdifficult,andIcan’tthinkwiththetaperecordergoing.Ikeepputtingitoffformostoftheday,butIknowhowimportantitis,andI’vegottodoit.I’vetoldmyselfIwon’thavedinneruntilIsitdownandwritesomething—anything.

           ProfessorNemursentformeagainthismorning.Hewantedmeatthelabforsometests,thekindIusedtodo.