Цветы для Элджернона

           Hethrewhimselfagainstthewallsofthemaze,againandagain,leapingup,twistingoverbackwardsandfalling,andthrowinghimselfagain.Twicehecaughthisclawsintheoverheadwiremesh,screechingwildly,lettinggo,andtryinghopelesslyagain.Thenhestoppedandcurledhimselfupintoasmall,tightball.

           "WhenIpickedhimup,hemadenoattempttouncurl,butremainedinthatstatemuchlikeacatatonicstupor.WhenImovedhisheadorlimbs,theystayedlikewax.Iputhimbackintohiscageandwatchedhimuntilthestu­porworeoffandhebegantomovearoundnormally.

           "Whateludesmeisthereasonforhisregression—isitaspecialcase?Anisolatedreaction?Oristheresomegen­eralprincipleoffailurebasictothewholeprocedure?I’vegottoworkouttherule.

           IfIcanfindthatout,andifitaddsevenonejotofinformationtowhateverelsehasbeendiscoveredaboutmentalretardationandthepossibilityofhelpingotherslikemyself,Iwillbesatisfied.Whateverhappenstome,IwillhavelivedathousandnormallivesbywhatImightaddtoothersnotyetborn.

           That’senough.

           July31

           I’montheedgeofit.Isenseit.TheyallthinkI’mkillingmyselfatthispace,butwhattheydon’tunderstandisthatI’mlivingatapeakofclarityandbeautyIneverknewexisted.Everypartofmeisattunedtothework.Isoakitupintomyporesduringtheday,andatnight—inthemomentsbeforeIpassoffintosleep—ideasexplodeintomyheadlikefireworks.Thereisnogreaterjoythantheburstofsolutiontoaproblem.