Пятьдесят оттенков серого

           Irememberherpartingwordsattheairport:

           Followyourheart,darling,andplease,please—trynottooverthinkthings.Relaxandenjoy.Youaresoyoung,sweetheart,youhavesomuchtoexperience,justletithappen.Youdeservethebestofeverything.

           Ididfollowmyheart,andIhaveasoreassandananguished,brokenspirittoshowforit.Ihavetogo.That’sit…Ihavetoleave.He’snogoodforme,andIamnogoodforhim.Howcanwepossiblymakethiswork?Andthethoughtofnotseeinghimagainpracticallychokesme…myFiftyShades.

           Ihearthedoorclickopen.Ohno—he’shere.Heputssomethingdownonthebedsidetable,andthebedshiftsunderhisweightasheclimbsinbehindme.

           “Hush,”hebreathes,andIwanttopullawayfromhim,movetotheothersideofthebed,butI’mparalyzed.Icannotmoveandliestiffly,notyieldingatall.“Don’tfightme,Ana,please,”hewhispers.Gently,hepullsmeintohisarms,buryinghisnoseinmyhair,kissingmyneck.

           “Don’thateme,”hebreathessoftlyagainstmyskin,hisvoiceachinglysad.Myheartclenchesanewandreleasesafreshwaveofsilentsobbing.Hecontinuestokissmesoftly,tenderly,butIremainaloofandwary.

           Welietogetherlikethis,neithersayinganythingforages.Hejustholdsme,andverygradually,Irelaxandstopcrying.Dawncomesandgoes,andthesoftlightgetsbrighterasmorningmoveson,andstillweliequietly.

           “IbroughtyousomeAdvilandsomearnicacream,”hesaysafteralongwhile.

           IturnveryslowlyinhisarmssoIcanfacehim.Iamrestingmyheadonhisarm.