Пятьдесят оттенков серого
Chapter 23
Istareathim,shocked,thenIburstoutlaughing—andhejoinsme.
“MaybeIdon’thaveagoodteacher.”
Hesnorts.“Maybe.PerhapsIshouldbestricterwithyou.”Hecockshisheadtoonesideandgivesmeanartfulsmile.
Iswallow.Jeez,no.Butatthesametime,mymusclesclenchdeliciouslydeepinside.Itishiswayofshowingthathecares.Perhapstheonlywayhecanshowhecares—Irealizethat.He’sstaringatme,gaugingmyreaction.
“WasitthatbadwhenIspankedyouthefirsttime?”
Igazebackathim,blinking.Wasitthatbad?Irememberfeelingconfusedbymyreaction.Ithurt,butnotthatmuchinretrospect.He’ssaidoverandoveragainit’smoreinmyhead.Andthesecondtime…Well,thatwasgood…hot.
“No,notreally,”Iwhisper.
“It’smoretheideaofit?”heprompts.
“Isuppose.Feelingpleasure,whenoneisn’tsupposedto.”
“Irememberfeelingthesame.Takesawhiletogetyourheadaroundit.”
Holyhell.Thiswaswhenhewasakid.
“Youcanalwaysusethesafeword,Anastasia.Don’tforgetthat.And,aslongasyoufollowtherules,whichfulfilladeepneedinmeforcontrolandtokeepyousafe,thenperhapswecanfindawayforward.”
“Whydoyouneedtocontrolme?”
“Becauseitsatisfiesaneedinmethatwasn’tmetinmyformativeyears.”
“Soit’saformoftherapy?”
“I’venotthoughtofitlikethat,butyes,Isupposeitis.”
ThisIcanunderstand.Thiswillhelp.
“But,here’sthething—onemomentyousay‘don’tdefyme,’thenextyousayyouliketobechallenged.
