Пятьдесят оттенков серого
Chapter 16
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From:AnastasiaSteele
Subject:CarefulYourself
Date:May27201100:09
To:ChristianGrey
Becauseyouneverstaywithme.
There,that’sgivenhimsomethingtothinkabout.IshutthemachinedownwithaflourishIdon’treallyfeelandcrawlintomybed.Iswitchoffmysidelightandstareupattheceiling.It’sbeenonelongday,oneemotionalwrenchafteranother.ItwasheartwarmingtospendsometimewithRay.Helookedwell,andweirdly,heapprovedofChristian.Jeez,Kateandhergargantuanmouth.HearingChristianspeakaboutbeinghungry.Whatthehellisthatallabout?God,andthecar.Ihaven’teventoldKateaboutthenewcar.WhatwasChristianthinking?
Andthenthisevening,heactuallyhitme.I’veneverbeenhitinmylife.WhathaveIgottenmyselfinto?Veryslowly,mytears,haltedbyKate’sarrival,begintoslidedownthesideofmyfaceandintomyears.Ihavefallenforsomeonewho’ssoemotionallyshutdown,Iwillonlygethurt—deepdownIknowthis—someonewhobyhisownadmissioniscompletelyfuckedup.Whyishesofuckedup?Itmustbeawfultobeasaffectedasheis,andthethoughtthatasatoddlerhesufferedsomeunbearablecrueltymakesmecryharder.Perhapsifhewasmorenormalhewouldn’twantyou,mysubconsciouscontributessnidelytomymusings…andinmyheartofheartsIknowthisistrue.Iturnintomypillowandthesluicegatesopen…andforthefirsttimeinyears,Iamsobbinguncontrollablyintomypillow.
IammomentarilydistractedfrommydarknightofthesoulbyKateshouting.
