Тонкое искусство пофигизма

           Atadwarminhere,perhaps—butreally,everything’sfine.”

           Whenmyparentsgotdivorced,therewerenobrokendishes,noslammeddoors,noscreamingargumentsaboutwhofuckedwhom.Oncetheyhadreassuredmybrotherandmethatitwasn’tourfault,wehadaQ&Asession—yes,youreadthatright—aboutthelogisticsofthenewlivingarrangements.Notatearwasshed.Notavoicewasraised.TheclosestpeekmybrotherandIgotintoourparents’unravelingemotionalliveswashearing,“Nobodycheatedonanybody.”Oh,that’snice.Itwasatadwarmintheroom,butreally,everythingwasfine.

           Myparentsaregoodpeople.Idon’tblamethemforanyofthis(notanymore,atleast).AndIlovethemverymuch.Theyhavetheirownstoriesandtheirownjourneysandtheirownproblems,justasallparentsdo.Andjustasalloftheirparentsdo,andsoon.Andlikeallparents,myparents,withthebestofintentions,impartedsomeoftheirproblemstome,asIprobablywilltomykids.

           When“realtraumaticshit”likethishappensinourlives,webegintounconsciouslyfeelasthoughwehaveproblemsthatwe’reincapableofeversolving.Andthisassumedinabilitytosolveourproblemscausesustofeelmiserableandhelpless.

           Butitalsocausessomethingelsetohappen.Ifwehaveproblemsthatareunsolvable,ourunconsciousfiguresthatwe’reeitheruniquelyspecialoruniquelydefectiveinsomeway.Thatwe’resomehowunlikeeveryoneelseandthattherulesmustbedifferentforus.

           Putsimply:webecomeentitled.