Тонкое искусство пофигизма

           Butyoudon’tendupattractingsomeoneamazingwithoutappreciatingtheemotionalturbulencethatcomeswithweatheringrejections,buildingthesexualtensionthatnevergetsreleased,andstaringblanklyataphonethatneverrings.It’spartofthegameoflove.Youcan’twinifyoudon’tplay.

           Whatdeterminesyoursuccessisn’t,“Whatdoyouwanttoenjoy?”Therelevantquestionis,“Whatpaindoyouwanttosustain?”Thepathtohappinessisapathfullofshitheapsandshame.

           Youhavetochoosesomething.Youcan’thaveapain-freelife.Itcan’tallberosesandunicornsallthetime.Pleasureistheeasyquestion.Andprettymuchallofushaveasimilaranswer.

           Themoreinterestingquestionisthepain.Whatisthepainthatyouwanttosustain?That’sthehardquestionthatmatters,thequestionthatwillactuallygetyousomewhere.It’sthequestionthatcanchangeaperspective,alife.It’swhatmakesme,me,andyou,you.It’swhatdefinesusandseparatesusandultimatelybringsustogether.

           Formostofmyadolescenceandyoungadulthood,Ifantasizedaboutbeingamusician—arockstar,inparticular.AnybadassguitarsongIheard,Iwouldalwaysclosemyeyesandenvisionmyselfuponstage,playingittothescreamsofthecrowd,peopleabsolutelylosingtheirmindstomysweetfinger-noodlingglory.Thisfantasycouldkeepmeoccupiedforhoursonend.Forme,itwasneveraquestionofifI’deverbeupplayinginfrontofscreamingcrowds,butwhen.Ihaditallplannedout.