Тонкое искусство пофигизма

           Youknowwhobasestheirentirelivesontheiremotions?Three-year-oldkids.Anddogs.Youknowwhatelsethree-year-oldsanddogsdo?Shitonthecarpet.

           Anobsessionandoverinvestmentinemotionfailsusforthesimplereasonthatemotionsneverlast.Whatevermakesushappytodaywillnolongermakeushappytomorrow,becauseourbiologyalwaysneedssomethingmore.Afixationonhappinessinevitablyamountstoanever-endingpursuitof“somethingelse”—anewhouse,anewrelationship,anotherchild,anotherpayraise.Anddespiteallofoursweatandstrain,weendupfeelingeerilysimilartohowwestarted:inadequate.

           Psychologistssometimesrefertothisconceptasthe“hedonictreadmill”:theideathatwe’realwaysworkinghardtochangeourlifesituation,butweactuallyneverfeelverydifferent.

           Thisiswhyourproblemsarerecursiveandunavoidable.Thepersonyoumarryisthepersonyoufightwith.Thehouseyoubuyisthehouseyourepair.Thedreamjobyoutakeisthejobyoustressover.Everythingcomeswithaninherentsacrifice—whatevermakesusfeelgoodwillalsoinevitablymakeusfeelbad.Whatwegainisalsowhatwelose.Whatcreatesourpositiveexperienceswilldefineournegativeexperiences.

           Thisisadifficultpilltoswallow.Weliketheideathatthere’ssomeformofultimatehappinessthatcanbeattained.Weliketheideathatwecanalleviateallofoursufferingpermanently.Weliketheideathatwecanfeelfulfilledandsatisfiedwithourlivesforever.

           Butwecannot.