Тонкое искусство пофигизма

           Iusetheexampleofcheatinginaromanticrelationship,butthisprocessappliestoabreachinanyrelationship.Whentrustisdestroyed,itcanberebuiltonlyifthefollowingtwostepshappen:1)thetrust-breakeradmitsthetruevaluesthatcausedthebreachandownsuptothem,and2)thetrust-breakerbuildsasolidtrackrecordofimprovedbehaviorovertime.Withoutthefirststep,thereshouldbenoattemptatreconciliationinthefirstplace.

           Trustislikeachinaplate.Ifyoubreakitonce,withsomecareandattentionyoucanputitbacktogetheragain.Butifyoubreakitagain,itsplitsintoevenmorepiecesandittakesfarlongertopiecetogetheragain.Ifyoubreakitmoreandmoretimes,eventuallyitshatterstothepointwhereit’simpossibletorestore.Therearetoomanybrokenpieces,andtoomuchdust.

           FreedomThroughCommitment

           Consumercultureisverygoodatmakinguswantmore,more,more.Underneathallthehypeandmarketingistheimplicationthatmoreisalwaysbetter.Iboughtintothisideaforyears.Makemoremoney,visitmorecountries,havemoreexperiences,bewithmorewomen.

           Butmoreisnotalwaysbetter.Infact,theoppositeistrue.Weareactuallyoftenhappierwithless.Whenwe’reoverloadedwithopportunitiesandoptions,wesufferfromwhatpsychologistsrefertoastheparadoxofchoice.Basically,themoreoptionswe’regiven,thelesssatisfiedwebecomewithwhateverwechoose,becausewe’reawareofalltheotheroptionswe’repotentiallyforfeiting.