Тонкое искусство пофигизма

           Ihadspentthepastfewyearsovercompensatingfortheinadequacyandsocialanxietyofmyteenageryears,andasaresultIfeltlikeIcouldmeetanybodyIwanted,befriendswithanybodyIwanted,loveanybodyIwanted,havesexwithanybodyIwanted—sowhywouldIevercommittoasingleperson,orevenasinglesocialgroup,asinglecityorcountryorculture?IfIcouldexperienceeverythingequally,thenIshouldexperiencethemallequally,right?

           Armedwiththisgrandiosesenseofconnectivitytotheworld,Ibouncedbackandforthacrosscountriesandoceansinagameofglobalhopscotchthatlastedoverfiveyears.Ivisitedfifty-fivecountries,madedozensoffriends,andfoundmyselfinthearmsofanumberoflovers—allofwhomwerequicklyreplacedandsomeofwhomwerealreadyforgottenbythenextflighttothenextcountry.

           Itwasastrangelife,repletewithfantastic,horizon-breachingexperiencesaswellassuperficialhighsdesignedtonumbmyunderlyingpain.Itseemedbothsoprofoundyetsomeaninglessatthesametime,andstilldoes.Someofmygreatestlifelessonsandcharacter-definingmomentscameontheroadduringthisperiod.Butsomeofthebiggestwastesofmytimeandenergycameduringthisperiodaswell.

           NowIliveinNewYork.Ihaveahouseandfurnitureandanelectricbillandawife.Noneofitisparticularlyglamorousorexciting.AndIlikeitthatway.Becauseafteralltheyearsofexcitement,thebiggestlessonItookfrommyadventuringwasthis:absolutefreedom,byitself,meansnothing.