Тонкое искусство пофигизма
Chapter 7
Manymilitarypersonnelreportamentalresiliencegainedfromwithstandingthedangerousenvironmentsofbeinginawarzone.
Dabrowskiarguedthatfearandanxietyandsadnessarenotnecessarilyalwaysundesirableorunhelpfulstatesofmind;rather,theyareoftenrepresentativeofthenecessarypainofpsychologicalgrowth.Andtodenythatpainistodenyourownpotential.Justasonemustsufferphysicalpaintobuildstrongerboneandmuscle,onemustsufferemotionalpaintodevelopgreateremotionalresilience,astrongersenseofself,increasedcompassion,andagenerallyhappierlife.
Ourmostradicalchangesinperspectiveoftenhappenatthetailendofourworstmoments.It’sonlywhenwefeelintensepainthatwe’rewillingtolookatourvaluesandquestionwhytheyseemtobefailingus.Weneedsomesortofexistentialcrisistotakeanobjectivelookathowwe’vebeenderivingmeaninginourlife,andthenconsiderchangingcourse.
Youcouldcallit“hittingbottom”or“havinganexistentialcrisis.”Iprefertocallit“weatheringtheshitstorm.”Choosewhatsuitsyou.
Andperhapsyou’reinthatkindofplacerightnow.Perhapsyou’recomingoutofthemostsignificantchallengeofyourlifeandarebewilderedbecauseeverythingyoupreviouslythoughttobetrueandnormalandgoodhasturnedouttobetheopposite.
That’sgood—that’sthebeginning.Ican’tstressthisenough,butpainispartoftheprocess.It’simportanttofeelit.
