Тонкое искусство пофигизма

           Andsoitwas,inthatsmallsushirestaurant,withEringuzzlingsakeandbabblingforhoursabouthowshe’dcuredhercat’skidneystoneswithenergytapping,thatsomethingoccurredtome:

           Erinisaself-improvementjunkie.Shespendstensofthousandsofdollarsonbooksandseminarsandcourses.AndthecraziestpartofallthisisthatErinembodiesallthelessonsshe’slearnedtoaT.Shehasherdream.Shestayspersistentwithit.Shevisualizesandtakesactionandweatherstherejectionsandfailuresandgetsupandtriesagain.She’srelentlesslypositive.Shethinksprettydamnhighlyofherself.Imean,sheclaimstohealcatsthesamewayJesushealedLazarus—comethefuckon.

           Andyethervaluesaresofuckedthatnoneofthismatters.Thefactthatshedoeseverything“right”doesn’tmakeherright.

           Thereisacertaintyinherthatrefusestorelinquishitself.Shehaseventoldmethisinsomanywords:thatsheknowsherfixationiscompletelyirrationalandunhealthyandismakingbothherandmeunhappy.Butforsomereasonitfeelssorighttoherthatshecan’tignoreitandshecan’tstop.

           Inthemid-1990s,psychologistRoyBaumeisterbeganresearchingtheconceptofevil.Basically,helookedatpeoplewhodobadthingsandatwhytheydothem.

           Atthetimeitwasassumedthatpeopledidbadthingsbecausetheyfelthorribleaboutthemselves—thatis,theyhadlowself-esteem.OneofBaumeister’sfirstsurprisingfindingswasthatthiswasoftennottrue.