Тонкое искусство пофигизма

           Nobodyelseiseverresponsibleforyoursituationbutyou.Manypeoplemaybetoblameforyourunhappiness,butnobodyiseverresponsibleforyourunhappinessbutyou.Thisisbecauseyoualwaysgettochoosehowyouseethings,howyoureacttothings,howyouvaluethings.Youalwaysgettochoosethemetricbywhichtomeasureyourexperiences.

           Myfirstgirlfrienddumpedmeinspectacularfashion.Shewascheatingonmewithherteacher.Itwasawesome.Andbyawesome,Imeanitfeltlikegettingpunchedinthestomachabout253times.Tomakethingsworse,whenIconfrontedheraboutit,shepromptlyleftmeforhim.Threeyearstogether,downthetoiletjustlikethat.

           Iwasmiserableformonthsafterward.Thatwastobeexpected.ButIalsoheldherresponsibleformymisery.Which,takeitfromme,didn’tgetmeveryfar.Itjustmadethemiseryworse.

           See,Icouldn’tcontrolher.NomatterhowmanytimesIcalledher,orscreamedather,orbeggedhertotakemeback,ormadesurprisevisitstoherplace,ordidothercreepyandirrationalex-boyfriendthings,Icouldnevercontrolheremotionsorheractions.Ultimately,whileshewastoblameforhowIfelt,shewasneverresponsibleforhowIfelt.Iwas.

           Atsomepoint,afterenoughtearsandalcohol,mythinkingbegantoshiftandIbegantounderstandthatalthoughshehaddonesomethinghorribletomeandshecouldbeblamedforthat,itwasnowmyownresponsibilitytomakemyselfhappyagain.Shewasnevergoingtopopupandfixthingsforme.Ihadtofixthemformyself.