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36

           Louishadn’tevennoticedthatRachelhadapparentlymeanttogotothemorningviewinginherhousecoat,whichshehadmisbuttoned.Herhairwasuncombed,unwashed,tangled.Hereyes,blankbrownorbits,bulgedfromsocketssosunkenthattheyhadalmostbecometheeyesofalivingskull.Herfleshwasdoughy.Ithungfromherface.Shesatatthebreakfasttablethatmorning,munchingunbutteredtoastandtalkingindisjointedphrasesthatmadenosenseatall.Atonepointshehadsaidabruptly,"AboutthatWinnebagoyouwanttobuy,Lou"LouishadlastspokenaboutbuyingaWinnebagoin1981.

           Louisonlynoddedandwentoneatinghisownbreakfast.HewashavingabowlofCocoaBears.CocoaBearshadbeenoneofGage’sfavoritecereals,andthismorningLouiswantedthem.Thetasteofthemwasappalling,buthestillwantedthem.Hewasneatlyturnedoutinhisbestsuitnotblack,hedidn’thaveablacksuit,butitwasatleastadeepcharcoalgray.Hehadshaved,showered,andcombedhishair.Helookedfine,althoughhewaslostinshock.

           Elliewasdressedinbluejeansandayellowblouse.Shehadbroughtapicturetothebreakfasttablewithher.Thispicture,anenlargementofaPolaroidRachelhadtakenwiththeSX-70Louisandthekidshadgivenherforherlastbirthday,showedGage,grinningfromthedepthsofhisSearsski-parka,sittingonherSpeedawaysledasElliepulledhim.RachelhadcaughtEllielookingbackoverhershoulderandsmilingatGage.Gagewasgrinningbackather.

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