Сумерки

           Hefrowneddownatmyhands,releasingmefromtheforceofhisstare."Andthen,asItriedtorearrangemyscheduleinapointlessattempttoavoidyou,youwerethere-inthatclose,warmlittleroom,thescentwasmaddening.Isoverynearlytookyouthen.Therewasonlyoneotherfrailhumanthere-soeasilydealtwith."

           Ishiveredinthewarmsun,seeingmymemoriesanewthroughhiseyes,onlynowgraspingthedanger.PoorMs.Cope;IshiveredagainathowcloseI’dcometobeinginadvertentlyresponsibleforherdeath.

           "ButIresisted.Idon’tknowhow.Iforcedmyselfnottowaitforyou,nottofollowyoufromtheschool.Itwaseasieroutside,whenIcouldn’tsmellyouanymore,tothinkclearly,tomaketherightdecision.Ilefttheothersnearhome-IwastooashamedtotellthemhowweakIwas,theyonlyknewsomethingwasverywrong-andthenIwentstraighttoCarlisle,atthehospital,totellhimIwasleaving."

           Istaredinsurprise.

           "Itradedcarswithhim-hehadafulltankofgasandIdidn’twanttostop.Ididn’tdaretogohome,tofaceEsme.Shewouldn’thaveletmegowithoutascene.Shewouldhavetriedtoconvincemethatitwasn’tnecessary...

           "BythenextmorningIwasinAlaska."Hesoundedashamed,asifadmittingagreatcowardice."Ispenttwodaysthere,withsomeoldacquaintances...butIwashomesick.IhatedknowingI’dupsetEsme,and

           therestofthem,myadoptedfamily.Inthepureairofthemountainsitwashardtobelieveyouweresoirresistible.Iconvincedmyselfitwasweaktorunaway.