Таинственная история Билли Миллигана

           Billy’speriodicshiftsintofoullanguageandhisexplosionsofrageshockedheratfirst,butshegotusedtohischangingmoods—oneminutetenderandaffectionate,thenextminuteangryandstormingallovertheplace,thenfunny,cleverandarticulate.Withoutwarningsometimes,he’dbecomeclumsyandpathetic,likealittleboywhodidn’tknowwhichfoottoputhisshoeon.Sheknewhesurelyneededsomeonetolookafterhim.Itwasallthedrugshewasdoingandthecrowdhewashangingoutwith.IfshecouldconvincehimthatBarryHart’sfriendswerejustusinghim,maybehewouldseethathedidn’tneedthematall.

           Attimesthethingshedidfrightenedher.Hetalkedaboutbeingworriedthatsomeotherpeoplewouldshowupandcausetroubleiftheyfoundherthere.Hehinteditwas"thefamily,"andsheassumedhewasbeingabigshotandboastingthathewasworkingwiththeMafia.Butwhenhewenttoallthetroubletodeviseasignal,shefoundherselfbelievingitwastheMafia.Whenevershewasintheapartment,hewouldputapaintinginthewindow.That,hesaid,wouldbeamessagetothe"others"thatshewasthereandthattheyshouldstayaway.

           Whenhemadelovetoher,whatoftenstartedwithfoullanguageandroughtalkwouldalwaysturnintotendercaressesandsoftness.Butsomethingbotheredherabouthislove-making.Thoughhewasstrongandmanly,shehadthefeelinghewasonlypretendinghispassion,thatheneverreallyclimaxed.