Цветы для Элджернона

           Idon’treallylikethatkindofmusicanymore.

           October4

           StrangesttherapysessionIeverhad.Strausswasupset.Itwassomethinghehadn’texpectedeither.

           Whathappened—Idon’tdarecallitamemory—wasapsychicexperienceorahallucination.Iwon’tattempttoexplainorinterpretit,butwillonlyrecordwhathappened.

           IwastouchywhenIcameintohisoffice,buthepre­tendednottonotice.Ilaydownonthecouchimmedi­ately,andhe,asusual,tookhisseattoonesideandalittlebehindme—justoutofsight—andwaitedformetobegintheritualofpouringoutalltheaccumulatedpoisonsofthemind.

           Ipeeredbackathimovermyhead.Helookedtired,andflabby,andsomehowheremindedmeofMattsittingonhisbarber’schairwaitingforcustomers.ItoldStraussoftheassociationandhenoddedandwaited.

           "Areyouwaitingforcustomers?"Iasked."Yououghttohavethiscouchdesignedlikeabarberschair.Thenwhenyouwantfreeassociation,youcouldstretchyourpa­tientoutthewaythebarberdoestolatheruphiscustomer,andwhenthefiftyminutesareup,youcouldtiltthechairforwardagainandhandhimamirrorsohecanseewhathelookslikeontheoutsideafteryou’veshavedhisego."

           Hesaidnothing,andwhileIfeltashamedatthewayIwasabusinghim,Icouldn’tstop."Thenyourpatientcouldcomeinateachsessionandsay,’Alittleoffthetopofmyanxiety,please,’or’Don’ttrimthesuper-egotooclose,ifyoudon’tmind,’orhemightevencomeinforaneggshampoo—Imean,egoshampoo.