Цветы для Элджернона

PROGRESS REPORT 16

           Mymouthworked,Iknow,andIstruggledtospeaktoher,togetsomethingout,becauseinthatmomentIcouldseerecognitioninhereyes.ThiswasnotatallthewayIwantedhertoseeme.Notstandingthereinfrontofher,dumbly,unabletomakemyselfunderstood.Butmytonguekeptgettingintheway,likeahugeobstruction,andmymouthwasdry.

           Finally,somethingcameout.NotwhatIhadintended(Ihadplannedsomethingsoothingandencouraging,totakecontrolofthesituationandwipeoutallthepastandpainwithafewwords)butallthatcameoutofmycrackedthroatwas:"Maaa..."

           WithallthethingsIhadlearnedinallthelan­guagesIhadmasteredallIcouldsaytoher,standingontheporchstaringatme,was,"Maaaa."Likeadry-mouthedlambattheudder.

           Shewipedherforeheadwiththebackofherarmandfrownedatme,asifshecouldnotseemeclearly.Isteppedforward,pastthegatetothewalk,andthentowardthesteps.Shedrewback.

           Atfirst,Iwasn’tsurewhetherornotshereallyrecog­nizedme,butthenshegasped:"Charlie!..."Shedidn’tscreamitorwhisperit.Shejustgaspeditasonemightdocomingoutofadream.

           "Ma..."Istartedupthesteps."It’sme..."

           Mymovementstartledher,andshesteppedback­wards,kickingoverthebucketofsoapywater,andthedirtysudsrusheddownthesteps."Whatareyoudoinghere?"

           "Ijustwantedtoseeyou...talktoyou..."

           Becausemytonguekeptgettinginmyway,myvoicecameoutofmythroatdifferently,withathickwhiningtone,asImighthavespokenalongtimeago.

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