Цветы для Элджернона
PROGRESS REPORT 16
Mymouthworked,Iknow,andIstruggledtospeaktoher,togetsomethingout,becauseinthatmomentIcouldseerecognitioninhereyes.ThiswasnotatallthewayIwantedhertoseeme.Notstandingthereinfrontofher,dumbly,unabletomakemyselfunderstood.Butmytonguekeptgettingintheway,likeahugeobstruction,andmymouthwasdry.
Finally,somethingcameout.NotwhatIhadintended(Ihadplannedsomethingsoothingandencouraging,totakecontrolofthesituationandwipeoutallthepastandpainwithafewwords)butallthatcameoutofmycrackedthroatwas:"Maaa..."
WithallthethingsIhadlearned—inallthelanguagesIhadmastered—allIcouldsaytoher,standingontheporchstaringatme,was,"Maaaa."Likeadry-mouthedlambattheudder.
Shewipedherforeheadwiththebackofherarmandfrownedatme,asifshecouldnotseemeclearly.Isteppedforward,pastthegatetothewalk,andthentowardthesteps.Shedrewback.
Atfirst,Iwasn’tsurewhetherornotshereallyrecognizedme,butthenshegasped:"Charlie!..."Shedidn’tscreamitorwhisperit.Shejustgaspeditasonemightdocomingoutofadream.
"Ma..."Istartedupthesteps."It’sme..."
Mymovementstartledher,andshesteppedbackwards,kickingoverthebucketofsoapywater,andthedirtysudsrusheddownthesteps."Whatareyoudoinghere?"
"Ijustwantedtoseeyou...talktoyou..."
Becausemytonguekeptgettinginmyway,myvoicecameoutofmythroatdifferently,withathickwhiningtone,asImighthavespokenalongtimeago.
