Цветы для Элджернона
PROGRESS REPORT 16
I’vegottoimpressonherthatthereisnoreasonforhertofeelguiltyaboutthis.
September2
Nothingdefiniteyet.Imoveinasilenceofclearwhitelight.Everythingaroundmeiswaiting.Idreamofbeingaloneonthetopofamountain,surveyingthelandaroundme,greensandyellows—andthesundirectlyabove,pressingmyshadowintoatightballaroundmylegs.Asthesundropsintotheafternoonsky,theshadowundrapesitselfandstretchesouttowardthehorizon,longandthin,andfarbehindme....
IwanttosayhereagainwhatI’vesaidalreadytoDr.Strauss.Nooneisinanywaytoblameforwhathashappened.Thisexperimentwascarefullyprepared,extensivelytestedonanimals,andstatisticallyvalidated.Whentheydecidedtousemeasthefirsthumantest,theywerereasonablycertainthattherewasnophysicaldangerinvolved.Therewasnowaytoforeseethepsychologicalpitfalls.Idon’twantanyonetosufferbecauseofwhathappenstome.
Theonlyquestionnowis:HowmuchcanIhangonto?
September15
Nemursaysmyresultshavebeenconfirmed.Itmeansthattheflawiscentralandbringstheentirehypothesisintoquestion.Somedaytheremightbeawaytoovercomethisproblem,butthattimeisnotyet.Ihaverecommendedthatnofurthertestsbemadeonhumanbeingsuntilthesethingsareclarifiedbyadditionalresearchonanimals.
Itismyownfeelingthatthemostsuccessfullineofresearchwillbethattakenbythemenstudyingenzymeimbalances.
