Цветы для Элджернона

           July27

           Workingaroundtheclock.OverFay’sprotests,I’vehadacotmovedintothelab.She’sbecometoopos­sessiveandresentfulofmywork.Ithinkshecouldtolerateanotherwoman,butnotthiscompleteabsorptioninsomethingshecan’tfollow.Iwasafraiditwouldcometothis,butIhavenopatiencewithhernow.I’mjealousofeverymomentawayfromthework—impatientwithany­onewhotriestostealmytime.

           ThoughmostofmywritingtimeisspentonnoteswhichIkeepinaseparatefolder,fromtimetotimeIhavetoputdownmymoodsandthoughtsoutofsheerhabit.

           Thecalculusofintelligenceisafascinatingstudy.InasensethisistheproblemI’vebeenconcernedwithallmylife.Hereistheplacefortheapplicationofalltheknowl­edgeIhaveacquired.

           Timeassumesanotherdimensionnow—workandabsorptioninthesearchforananswer.Theworldaroundmeandmypastseemfarawayanddistorted,asiftimeandspaceweretaffybeingstretchedandloopedandtwistedoutofshape.Theonlyrealthingsarethecagesandthemiceandthelabequipmenthereonthefourthfloorofthemainbuilding.

           Thereisnonightorday.I’vegottocramalifetimeofresearchintoafewweeks.IknowIshouldrest,butIcan’tuntilIknowthetruthaboutwhatishappening.

           Aliceisagreathelptomenow.Shebringsmesand­wichesandcoffee,butshemakesnodemands.

           Aboutmyperception:everythingissharpandclear,eachsensationheightenedandilluminatedsothatredsandyellowsandbluesglow.Sleepingherehasastrangeeffect.