Цветы для Элджернона

           Thepictureoverthecouchcaughtmyeye—thecringing,red-cheekedmaiden—andIwon­deredwhatAlicewasfeelingjustthen.Iknewshewouldgiveherselftome,andIwantedher,butwhataboutCharlie?

           CharliemightnotinterfereifIwantedtomakelovetoFay.Hewouldprobablyjuststandinthedoorwayandwatch.ButthemomentIcameclosetoAlice,hepanicked.WhywasheafraidtoletmeloveAlice?

           Shesatonthecouch,lookingatme,waitingtoseewhatIwoulddo.AndwhatcouldIdo?Iwantedtotakeherinmyarmsand...

           AsIbegantothinkofit,thewarningcame.

           "Areyouallright,Charlie?You’resopale."

           Isatdownonthecouchbesideher."Justalittledizzy.It’llpass."ButIknewitwouldonlygetworseaslongasCharliefelttherewasdangerI’dmakelovetoher.

           AndthenIgottheidea.Itdisgustedmeatfirst,butsuddenlyIrealizedtheonlywaytoovercomethisparalysiswastooutwithim.IfforsomereasonCharliewasafraidof

           AlicebutnotofFay,thenIwouldturnoutthelights,andpretendIwasmakinglovetoFay.Hewouldneverknowthedifference.

           Itwaswrong—disgusting—butifitworkeditwouldbreakCharliesstrangleholdonmyemotions.IwouldknowafterwardsthatIhadlovedAlice,andthatthiswastheonlyway.

           "I’mallrightnow.Let’ssitinthedarkforawhile,"Isaid,turningoffthelightsandwaitingtocollectmyself.Itwasn’tgoingtobeeasy.Ihadtoconvincemyself,visualizeFay,hypnotizemyselfintobelievingthatthewomansit­tingbesidemewasFay.