Цветы для Элджернона
PROGRESS REPORT 14
"Dr.Portmansaid—"
"Portmansaid!Portmansaid!Idon’tcarewhathesaid!Thinkofwhatitwillbelikeforhertohaveabrotherlikethat.Iwaswrongalltheseyears,tryingtobelievehewouldgrowuplikeotherchildren.Iadmititnow.Betterforhimtobeputaway."
"Nowthatyou’vegother,you’vedecidedyoudon’twanthimanymore...."
"Doyouthinkthisiseasy?Whyareyoumakingitharderforme?Alltheseyearseveryonetellingmeheshouldbeputaway.Well,theywereright.Puthimaway.MaybeattheHomewithhisownkindhe’llhavesomething.Idon’tknowwhat’srightorwronganymore.AllIknowisI’mnotgoingtosacrificemydaughterforhimnow."
AndthoughCharliehasnotunderstoodwhatpassedbetweenthem,heisafraidandsinksbeneaththecovers,eyesopen,tryingtopiercethedarknessthatsurroundshim.
AsIseehimnow,heisnotreallyafraid,justwithdrawing,asabirdorsquirrelbacksofffromthebrusquemovementsofthefeeder—involuntary,instinctive.Thelightthroughthatdoorajarcomestomeagaininluminousvision.SeeingCharliehuddledbeneaththecoversIwishIcouldgivehimcomfort,explaintohimthathehasdonenothingwrong,thatitisbeyondhimtochangehismother’sattitudebacktowhatitwasbeforehissistercame.Thereonthebed,Charliedidnotunderstandwhattheyweresaying,butnowithurts.IfIcouldreachoutintothepastofmymemories,Iwouldmakeherseehowmuchshewashurtingme.
Thisisnotimetogotoher.NotuntilI’vehadtimetoworkitoutformyself.
