Цветы для Элджернона

           Isaythattomyself,Charlie,butwhen­everwemeetandyoutellmesomethingandlookatmeinthatimpatientway,Iknowyou’relaughing.

           "Andwhenyouexplainthingstome,andIcan’tre­memberthem,youthinkit’sbecauseI’mnotinterestedanddon’twanttotakethetrouble.Butyoudon’tknowhowItorturemyselfwhenyou’regone.Youdon’tknowthebooksI’vestruggledover,thelecturesI’vesatinonatBeekman,andyetwheneverItalkaboutsomething,Iseehowimpatientyouare,asifitwereallchildish.Iwantedyoutobeintelligent.Iwantedtohelpyouandsharewithyou—andnowyou’veshutmeoutofyourlife."

           AsIlistenedtowhatshewassaying,theenormityofitdawnedonme.IhadbeensoabsorbedinmyselfandwhatwashappeningtomethatIneverthoughtaboutwhatwashappeningtoher.

           Shewascryingsilentlyaswelefttheschool,andIfoundmyselfwithoutwords.AllduringtherideonthebusIthoughttomyselfhowupside-downthesituationhadbecome.Shewasterrifiedofme.Theicehadbrokenbetweenusandthegapwaswideningasthecurrentofmymindcarriedmeswiftlyintotheopensea.

           Shewasrightinrefusingtotortureherselfbybeingwithme.Wenolongerhadanythingincommon.Simpleconversationhadbecomestrained.Andalltherewasbe­tweenusnowwastheembarrassedsilenceandunsatisfiedlonginginadarkenedroom.

           "You’reveryserious,"shesaid,breakingoutofherownmoodandlookingupatme.

           "Aboutus."

           "Itshouldn’tmakeyousoserious.Idon’twanttoupsetyou.