Цветы для Элджернона

           Whathashedonewrong?Andfeelingthewetnessinhistrousersandthetricklingdownhisleg,hesitstherewaitingfortheslapheknowswillcomewhenhismotherreturns.

           Thescenefades,butfromthattimeNormaspentallherfreemomentswithherfriends,orplayingaloneinherroom.Shekeptthedoortoherroomclosed,andIwasfor­biddentoenterwithoutherpermission.

           IrecallonceoverhearingNormaandoneofhergirlfriendsplayinginherroom,andNormashouting:"Heisnotmyrealbrother!He’sjustaboywetookinbecausewefeltsorryforhim.Mymammatoldme,andshesaidIcantelleveryonenowthathe’snotreallymybrotheratall."

           IwishthismemorywereaphotographsothatIcouldtearitupandthrowitbackintoherface.IwanttocallbackacrosstheyearsandtellherInevermeanttostopherfromgettingherdog.Shecouldhavehaditalltoherself,andIwouldn’thavefedit,orbrushedit,orplayedwithit—andIwouldneverhavemadeitlikememorethanitlikedher.Ionlywantedhertoplaygameswithmethewayweusedto.Inevermeanttodoanythingthatwouldhurtheratall.

           June6

           MyfirstrealquarrelwithAlicetoday.Myfault.Iwantedtoseeher.Often,afteradisturbingmemoryordream,talkingtoher—justbeingwithher—makesmefeelbetter.ButitwasamistaketogodowntotheCentertopickherup.

           IhadnotbeenbacktotheCenterforRetardedAdultssincetheoperation,andthethoughtofseeingtheplacewasexciting.