Американские боги

           "You’llexcusemeforamoment,gentlemen,butIfindmyselfindeepandurgentneedofalengthypiss."Hestoodupandwalkedaway,animpossiblytallman.Hehadtobealmostsevenfeettall,decidedShadow.

           Awaitresswipedaclothacrossthetableandtooktheiremptyplates.Wednesdaytoldhertobringthesameagainforeveryone,althoughthistimeShadow’smeadwastobeontherocks.

           "Anyway,"saidWednesday,"that’swhatIneedofyou."

           "WouldyouliketoknowwhatIwant?"askedShadow.

           "Nothingcouldmakemehappier."

           Thewaitressbroughtthedrink.Shadowsippedhismeadontherocks.Theicedidnothelp-ifanythingitsharpenedthesourness,andmadethetastelingerinthemouthafterthemeadwasswallowed.However,Shadowconsoledhimself,itdidnottasteparticularlyalcoholic.Hewasnotreadytobedrunk.Notyet.

           Hetookadeepbreath.

           "Okay,"saidShadow."Mylife,whichforthreeyearshasbeenalongwayfrombeingthegreatestlifetherehaseverbeen,justtookadistinctandsuddenturnfortheworse.NowthereareafewthingsIneedtodo.IwanttogotoLaura’sfuneral.Iwanttosaygoodbye.Ishouldwindupherstuff.Ifyoustillneedme,Iwanttostartatfivehundreddollarsaweek."Thefigurewasastabinthedark.Wednesday’seyesrevealednothing."Ifwe’rehappyworkingtogether,insixmonths’timeyouraiseittoathousandaweek."

           Hepaused.Itwasthelongestspeechhe’dmadeinyears."Yousayyoumayneedpeopletobehurt.Well,I’llhurtpeopleifthey’retryingtohurtyou.