Американские боги
Chapter 9
Oneofthemknewalmostnothingaboutsex,butknewalotaboutanimals,helpedoutorspentalotoftimeatsomekindofanimalshelter,whiletheotherwasnotinterestedinanimals,but,armedwithahundredtidbitsgleanedfromtheInternetandfromdaytimetelevision,thoughtsheknewagreatdealabouthumansexuality.ShadowlistenedwithahorrifiedandamusedfascinationtotheonewhothoughtshewaswiseinthewaysoftheworlddetailtheprecisemechanicsofusingAlka-Seltzertabletstoenhanceoralsex.
Helistenedtobothofthem—thegirlwholikedanimals,andtheonewhoknewwhyAlka-Seltzergaveyoumoreoralbangforyourbuckthan,like,evenAltoids—dishingthedirtonthecurrentMissLakeside,whohad,like,everybodyknew,onlygottenhergreasyhandsonthecoronetandsashbyflirtin’uptothejudges.
Shadowstartedtotunethemout,blankedeverythingexceptthenoiseoftheroad,andnowonlyfragmentsofconversationwouldcomebackeverynowandagain.
Goldieis,like,suchagooddog,andhewasapurebredretriever,ifonlymydadwouldsayokay,hewagshistailwheneverheseesme.
It’sChristmas,hehastoletmeusethesnowmobile.
Youcanwriteyournamewithyourtongueonthesideofhisthing.
ImissSandy.
Yeah,ImissSandytoo.
