Ночь нежна

Chapter 4

           Forhimtheboundariesofasceticismweredifferentlymarkedhecouldseeitasameanstoanend,evenasacarryingonwithagloryitwoulditselfsupply,butitwashardtothinkofdeliberatelycuttinglifedowntothescaleofaninheritedsuit.ThedomesticgesturesofFranzandhiswifeastheyturnedinacrampedspacelackedgraceandadventure.Thepost-warmonthsinFrance,andthelavishliquidationstakingplaceundertheægisofAmericansplendor,hadaffectedDick’soutlook.Also,menandwomenhadmademuchofhim,andperhapswhathadbroughthimbacktothecentreofthegreatSwisswatch,wasanintuitionthatthiswasnottoogoodforaseriousman.

           HemadeKaetheGregoroviusfeelcharming,meanwhilebecomingincreasinglyrestlessattheall-pervadingcauliflowersimultaneouslyhatinghimselftooforthisincipienceofheknewnotwhatsuperficiality.

           "God,amIliketherestafterall?"Soheusedtothinkstartingawakeatnight"AmIliketherest?"

           Thiswaspoormaterialforasocialistbutgoodmaterialforthosewhodomuchoftheworld’srarestwork.Thetruthwasthatforsomemonthshehadbeengoingthroughthatpartitioningofthethingsofyouthwhereinitisdecidedwhetherornottodieforwhatonenolongerbelieves.InthedeadwhitehoursinZurichstaringintoastranger’spantryacrosstheupshineofastreet-lamp,heusedtothinkthathewantedtobegood,hewantedtobekind,hewantedtobebraveandwise,butitwasallprettydifficult.Hewantedtobeloved,too,ifhecouldfititin.

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