Бойцовский клуб
Chapter 8
Tylersqueezesthewhitemessfromeachsandwichbagintothewater,andthenTylerburiestheemptybagsallthewayatthebottomofthetrash.
Tylersays, "Usealittleimagination. RememberallthatpioneershittheytaughtyouinBoyScouts. Rememberyourhighschoolchemistry."
It’shardtoimagineTylerinBoyScouts.
AnotherthingIcoulddo,Tylertellsme,isIcoulddrivetomyboss’shousesomenightandhookahoseuptoanoutdoorspigot, hookthehosetoahandpump,andIcouldinjectthehouseplumbingwithachargeofindustrialdye. Redorblueorgreen,andwaittoseehowmybosslooksthenextday. Or,Icouldjustsitinthebushesandpumpthehandpumpuntiltheplumbingwassuperpressurizedto110psi. Thisway,whensomeonegoestoflushatoilet,thetoilettankwillexplode. At150psi,ifsomeoneturnsontheshower,thewaterpressurewillblowofftheshowerhead,stripthethreads,blam,theshowerheadturnsintoamortarshell.
Tyleronlysaysthistomakemefeelbetter. ThetruthisIlikemyboss. Besides,I’menlightenednow. Youknow,onlyBuddha-stylebehavior. Spiderchrysanthemums. TheDiamondSutraandtheBlueCliffRecord. HariRama,youknow,Krishna,Krishna. Youknow,Enlightened.
"Stickingfeathersupyourbutt,"Tylersays,"doesnotmakeyouachicken."
Asthefatrenders,thetallowwillfloattothesurfaceoftheboilingwater.
Oh,Isay,soI’mstickingfeathersupmybutt.
AsifTylerherewithcigaretteburnsmarchinguphisarmsissuchanevolvedsoul. MisterandMissusHumanButtWipe. IcalmmyfacedownandturnintooneofthoseHinducowpeoplegoingtoslaughterontheairlineemergencyprocedurecard.
