Chapter 24

           HISNAMEISRobertPaulsonandheisforty-eightyearsold. HisnameisRobertPaulson,andRobertPaulsonwillbeforty-eightyearsold,forever. 

           Onalongenoughtimeline,everyone’ssurvivalratedropstozero. 

           BigBob. 

           Thebigcheesebread. Thebigmoosiewasonaregulationchill-and-drillhomeworkassignment. ThiswashowTylergotintomycondominiumtoblowitupwithhomemadedynamite. Youtakeaspraycanisterofrefrigerant, R-12ifyoucanstillgetit,whatwiththeozonehole andeverything,orR-134a, andyousprayitintothelockcylinderuntiltheworksarefrozen. 

           Onachill-and-drillassignment,youspraythelockonapaytelephoneoraparkingmeteroranewspaperbox. Thenyouuseahammerandacoldchiseltoshatterthefrozenlockcylinder. 

           Onaregulationdrill-and-fillhomeworkassignment,youdrillthephoneortheautomaticbanktellermachine, thenyouscrewalubefittingintotheholeanduseagreasegun topumpyourtargetfullofaxlegreaseorvanillapuddingorplasticcement. 

           It’snotthatProjectMayhemneededtostealahandfulofchange. ThePaperStreetSoapCompanywasbackloggedonfillingorders. Godhelpuswhentheholidayscamearound. Homeworkistobuildyournerve. Youneedsomecunning.BuildyourinvestmentinProjectMayhem. 

           Insteadofacoldchisel,youcanuseanelectricdrillonthefrozenlockcylinder. Thisworksjustaswellandit’smorequiet.