Бойцовский клуб

Chapter 5

           Ninetimesoutoften,thesecuritytaskforceguysays,thevibrationisanelectricrazor. Thiswasmycordlesselectricrazor. Theothertime,it’savibratingdildo. 

           Thesecuritytaskforceguytoldmethis. Thiswasatmydestination,withoutmysuitcase,whereIwasabouttocabithomeandfindmyflannelsheetsshreddedontheground. 

           Imagine,thetaskforceguysays,tellingapassengeronarrivalthatadildokeptherbaggageontheEastCoast. Sometimesit’sevenaman. It’sairlinepolicynottoimplyownershipintheeventofadildo. Usetheindefinitearticle. 

           Adildo. 

           Neveryourdildo. 

           Never,eversaythedildoaccidentallyturneditselfon. 

           Adildoactivateditselfandcreatedanemergencysituationthatrequiredevacuatingyourbaggage. 

           RainwasfallingwhenIwokeupformyconnectioninStapleton. 

           RainwasfallingwhenIwokeuponourfinalapproachtohome. 

           Anannouncementtoldustopleasetakethisopportunitytocheckaroundourseatsforanypersonalbelongingswemighthaveleftbehind. Thentheannouncementsaidmyname. WouldIpleasemeetwithanairlinerepresentativewaitingatthegate. 

           Isetmywatchbackthreehours,anditwasstillaftermidnight. 

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