Тонкое искусство пофигизма
Chapter 6
Untilwechangehowweviewourselves,whatwebelieveweareandarenot,wecannotovercomeouravoidanceandanxiety.Wecannotchange.
Inthisway,“knowingyourself”or“findingyourself”canbedangerous.Itcancementyouintoastrictroleandsaddleyouwithunnecessaryexpectations.Itcancloseyouofftoinnerpotentialandouteropportunities.
Isaydon’tfindyourself.Isayneverknowwhoyouare.Becausethat’swhatkeepsyoustrivinganddiscovering.Anditforcesyoutoremainhumbleinyourjudgmentsandacceptingofthedifferencesinothers.
KillYourself
Buddhismarguesthatyourideaofwho“you”areisanarbitrarymentalconstructionandthatyoushouldletgooftheideathat“you”existatall;thatthearbitrarymetricsbywhichyoudefineyourselfactuallytrapyou,andthusyou’rebetterofflettinggoofeverything.Inasense,youcouldsaythatBuddhismencouragesyoutonotgiveafuck.
Itsoundswonky,buttherearesomepsychologicalbenefitstothisapproachtolife.Whenweletgoofthestorieswetellaboutourselves,toourselves,wefreeourselvesuptoactuallyact(andfail)andgrow.
Whensomeoneadmitstoherself,“Youknow,maybeI’mnotgoodatrelationships,”thensheissuddenlyfreetoactandendherbadmarriage.Shehasnoidentitytoprotectbystayinginamiserable,crappymarriagejusttoprovesomethingtoherself.
