Тонкое искусство пофигизма

           No,it’smorethanthat:sheneedsmetobeherboyfriend.Why?Afterthreehoursofquestioningandabottleandahalfofsake,itstillisn’tclear.

           Myfiancéewaswithusintherestaurant,bytheway.Erinthoughtitimportantthatshebeincludedinthediscussion;Erinwantedhertoknowthatshewas“willingtoshare”meandthatmygirlfriend(nowwife)“shouldn’tfeelthreatened”byher.

           ImetErinataself-helpseminarin2008.Sheseemedlikeaniceenoughperson.Alittlebitonthewoo-woo,NewAgeysideofthings,butshewasalawyerandhadgonetoanIvyLeagueschool,andwasclearlysmart.AndshelaughedatmyjokesandthoughtIwascute—so,ofcourse,knowingme,Isleptwithher.

           Amonthlater,sheinvitedmetouprootacrossthecountryandmoveinwithher.Thisstruckmeassomewhatofaredflag,andsoItriedtobreakthingsoffwithher.SherespondedbysayingthatshewouldkillherselfifIrefusedtobewithher.Okay,somakethattworedflags.Ipromptlyblockedherfrommyemailandallmydevices.

           Thiswouldslowherdownbutnotstopher.

           YearsbeforeImether,Erinhadgottenintoacaraccidentandnearlydied.Actually,shehadmedically“died”forafewmoments—allbrainactivityhadstopped—butshehadsomehowmiraculouslybeenrevived.Whenshe“cameback,”sheclaimedeverythinghadchanged.Shebecameaveryspiritualperson.Shebecameinterestedin,andstartedbelievingin,energyhealingandangelsanduniversalconsciousnessandtarotcards.