Тонкое искусство пофигизма

           Meredith’sfakeabusestorymakesfarmoresensewhenweunderstandthevaluesinwhichherbeliefsarose.Firstofall,Meredithhadhadastrainedanddifficultrelationshipwithherfatherthroughoutmostofherlife.Second,Meredithhadhadaseriesoffailedintimaterelationshipswithmen,includingafailedmarriage.

           Soalready,intermsofhervalues,“closerelationshipswithmen”weren’tdoingsohot.

           Then,intheearly1980s,Meredithbecamearadicalfeministandbegandoingresearchintochildabuse.Shewasconfrontedwithhorrificstoryafterhorrificstoryofabuse,andshedealtwithincestsurvivors—usuallylittlegirls—foryearsonend.Shealsoreportedextensivelyonanumberofinaccuratestudiesthatcameoutaroundthattime—studiesthatitlaterturnedoutgrosslyoverestimatedtheprevalenceofchildmolestation.(Themostfamousstudyreportedthatathirdofadultwomenhadbeensexuallymolestedaschildren,anumberthathassincebeenshowntobefalse.)

           Andontopofallofthis,Meredithfellinloveandbeganarelationshipwithanotherwoman,anincestsurvivor.Meredithdevelopedacodependentandtoxicrelationshipwithherpartner,oneinwhichMeredithcontinuallytriedto“save”theotherwomanfromhertraumaticpast.HerpartneralsousedhertraumaticpastasaweaponofguilttoearnMeredith’saffection(moreonthisandboundariesinchapter8).