Тонкое искусство пофигизма

           ”That,ironically,wouldstillhavebeenherchoice.Butshechosetheopposite.

           Afewyearsago,Ihadwrittenaboutsomeoftheideasinthischapteronmyblog,andamanleftacomment.HesaidthatIwasshallowandsuperficial,addingthatIhadnorealunderstandingoflife’sproblemsorhumanresponsibility.Hesaidthathissonhadrecentlydiedinacaraccident.HeaccusedmeofnotknowingwhattruepainwasandsaidthatIwasanassholeforsuggestingthathehimselfwasresponsibleforthepainhefeltoverhisson’sdeath.

           Thismanhadobviouslysufferedpainmuchgreaterthanmostpeopleeverhavetoconfrontintheirlives.Hedidn’tchooseforhissontodie,norwasithisfaultthathissondied.Theresponsibilityforcopingwiththatlosswasgiventohimeventhoughitwasclearlyandunderstandablyunwanted.Butdespiteallthat,hewasstillresponsibleforhisownemotions,beliefs,andactions.Howhereactedtohisson’sdeathwashisownchoice.Painofonesortoranotherisinevitableforallofus,butwegettochoosewhatitmeanstoandforus.Eveninclaimingthathehadnochoiceinthematterandsimplywantedhissonback,hewasmakingachoice—oneofmanywayshecouldhavechosentousethatpain.

           Ofcourse,Ididn’tsayanyofthistohim.Iwastoobusybeinghorrifiedandthinkingthatyes,perhapsIwaswayinovermyheadandhadnoideawhatthefuckIwastalkingabout.That’sahazardthatcomeswithmylineofwork.AproblemthatIchose.AndaproblemthatIwasresponsiblefordealingwith.