Над пропастью во ржи

           Here’swhatwasveryfunny,though.Whenwegotbacktothetable, oldMartytoldtheothertwothatGaryCooperhadjustgoneout. Boy,oldLaverneandBernicenearlycommittedsuicidewhentheyheardthat. TheygotallexcitedandaskedMartyifshe’dseenhimandall. OldMartsaidshe’donlycaughtaglimpseofhim. Thatkilledme. 

           Thebarwasclosingupforthenight,soIboughtthemalltwodrinksapiecequickbeforeitclosed,andIorderedtwomoreCokesformyself. Thegoddamtablewaslousywithglasses. Theoneuglyone,Laverne,keptkiddingmebecauseIwasonlydrinkingCokes. Shehadasterlingsenseofhumor. SheandoldMartyweredrinkingTomCollinses—inthemiddleofDecember,forGod’ssake. Theydidn’tknowanybetter. Theblondeone,oldBernice,wasdrinkingbourbonandwater. Shewasreallyputtingitaway,too. Thewholethreeofthemkeptlookingformoviestarsthewholetime. Theyhardlytalked—eventoeachother. OldMartytalkedmorethantheothertwo.Shekeptsayingtheseverycorny,boringthings,likecallingthecanthe"littlegirls’room," andshethoughtBuddySinger’spooroldbeat-upclarinetplayerwasreallyterrificwhenhestoodupandtookacoupleofice-coldhotlicks. Shecalledhisclarineta"licoricestick."Wasshecorny. Theotheruglyone,Laverne,thoughtshewasaverywittytype. Shekeptaskingmetocallupmyfatherandaskhimwhathewasdoingtonight. Shekeptaskingmeifmyfatherhadadateornot. Fourtimessheaskedmethat—shewascertainlywitty. OldBernice,theblondeone,didn’tsayhardlyanythingatall. EverytimeI’daskhersomething,shesaid"What?" Thatcangetonyournervesafterawhile. 

           Allofasudden,whentheyfinishedtheirdrink,allthreeofthemstooduponmeandsaidtheyhadtogettobed.