Над пропастью во ржи

           Youcouldhardlytellwhichwasthestupidestofthethreeofthem.Andthewholethreeofthemkeptlookingallaroundthegoddamroom,likeasiftheyexpectedaflockofgoddammoviestarstocomeinanyminute. TheyprobablythoughtmoviestarsalwayshungoutintheLavenderRoomwhentheycametoNewYork, insteadoftheStorkCluborElMoroccoandall. Anyway,ittookmeaboutahalfhourtofindoutwheretheyallworkedandallinSeattle. Theyallworkedinthesameinsuranceoffice. Iaskedthemiftheylikedit,butdoyouthinkyoucouldgetanintelligentansweroutofthosethreedopes? Ithoughtthetwouglyones,MartyandLaverne,weresisters,buttheygotveryinsultedwhenIaskedthem. Youcouldtellneitheroneofthemwantedtolookliketheotherone,andyoucouldn’tblamethem,butitwasveryamusinganyway. 

           Idancedwiththemall—thewholethreeofthem—oneatatime. Theoneuglyone,Laverne,wasn’ttoobadadancer,buttheotherone,oldMarty,wasmurder. OldMartywaslikedraggingtheStatueofLibertyaroundthefloor. TheonlywayIcouldevenhalfenjoymyselfdraggingheraroundwasifIamusedmyselfalittle. SoItoldherIjustsawGaryCooper,themoviestar,ontheothersideofthefloor. 

           "Where?" sheaskedme—excitedashell. "Where?" 

           "Aw,youjustmissedhim. Hejustwentout. Whydidn’tyoulookwhenItoldyou?" 

           Shepracticallystoppeddancing,andstartedlookingovereverybody’sheadstoseeifshecouldseehim. "Oh,shoot!"shesaid. I’djustaboutbrokenherheart—Ireallyhad. IwassorryashellI’dkiddedher. Somepeopleyoushouldn’tkid,eveniftheydeserveit.