Chapter 14

           AfterOldSunnywasgone,Isatinthechairforawhileandsmokedacoupleofcigarettes.Itwasgettingdaylightoutside.Boy,Ifeltmiserable.Ifeltsodepressed,youcan’timagine.WhatIdid,Istartedtalking,sortofoutloud,toAllie.IdothatsometimeswhenIgetverydepressed.IkeeptellinghimtogohomeandgethisbikeandmeetmeinfrontofBobbyFallon’shouse.BobbyFallonusedtolivequitenearusinMaine—thisis,yearsago.Anyway,whathappenedwas,onedayBobbyandIweregoingovertoLakeSedebegoonourbikes.Weweregoingtotakeourlunchesandall,andourBBguns—wewerekidsandall,andwethoughtwecouldshootsomethingwithourBBguns.Anyway,Allieheardustalkingaboutit,andhewantedtogo,andIwouldn’tlethim.Itoldhimhewasachild.Soonceinawhile,now,whenIgetverydepressed,Ikeepsayingtohim,"Okay.GohomeandgetyourbikeandmeetmeinfrontofBobby’shouse.Hurryup."Itwasn’tthatIdidn’tusetotakehimwithmewhenIwentsomewhere.Idid.Butthatoneday,Ididn’t.Hedidn’tgetsoreaboutit—henevergotsoreaboutanything—butIkeepthinkingaboutitanyway,whenIgetverydepressed.

           Finally,though,Igotundressedandgotinbed.Ifeltlikeprayingorsomething,whenIwasinbed,butIcouldn’tdoit.Ican’talwayspraywhenIfeellikeit.Inthefirstplace,I’msortofanatheist.IlikeJesusandall,butIdon’tcaretoomuchformostoftheotherstuffintheBible.TaketheDisciples,forinstance.Theyannoythehelloutofme,ifyouwanttoknowthetruth.TheywereallrightafterJesuswasdeadandall,butwhileHewasalive,theywereaboutasmuchusetoHimasaholeinthehead.AlltheydidwaskeeplettingHimdown.IlikealmostanybodyintheBiblebetterthantheDisciples.Ifyouwanttoknowthetruth,theguyIlikebestintheBible,nexttoJesus,wasthatlunaticandall,thatlivedinthetombsandkeptcuttinghimselfwithstones.