Над пропастью во ржи

           Thewholethreeofthemwereprettyugly,andtheyallhadonthekindofhatsthatyouknewtheydidn’treallyliveinNewYork,butoneofthem,theblondeone,wasn’ttoobad. Shewassortofcute,theblondeone,andIstartedgivinghertheoldeyealittlebit,butjustthenthewaitercameupformyorder. IorderedaScotchandsoda,andtoldhimnottomixit—Isaiditfastashell,becauseifyouhemandhaw,theythinkyou’reundertwenty-oneandwon’tsellyouanyintoxicatingliquor. Ihadtroublewithhimanyway,though. "I’msorry,sir,"hesaid,"butdoyouhavesomeverificationofyourage? Yourdriver’slicense,perhaps?" 

           Igavehimthisverycoldstare,likehe’dinsultedthehelloutofme,andaskedhim, "DoIlooklikeI’mundertwenty-one?" 

           "I’msorry,sir,butwehaveour—" 

           "Okay,okay,"Isaid. Ifiguredthehellwithit. "BringmeaCoke. "Hestartedtogoaway,butIcalledhimback. "Can’tchastickalittleruminitorsomething?"Iaskedhim. Iaskedhimverynicelyandall. "Ican’tsitinacornyplacelikethiscoldsober. Can’tchastickalittleruminitorsomething?" 

           "I’mverysorry,sir..."hesaid,andbeatitonme. Ididn’tholditagainsthim,though. Theylosetheirjobsiftheygetcaughtsellingtoaminor. I’magoddamminor. 

           Istartedgivingthethreewitchesatthenexttabletheeyeagain. Thatis,theblondeone. Theothertwowerestrictlyfromhunger. Ididn’tdoitcrudely,though. Ijustgaveallthreeofthemthisverycoolglanceandall. Whattheydid,though,thethreeofthem,whenIdidit,theystartedgigglinglikemorons.