Над пропастью во ржи

           ThenIstarteddoingsomethingelse.EverytimeI’dgettotheendofablockI’dmakebelieveIwastalkingtomybrotherAllie.I’dsaytohim,"Allie,don’tletmedisappear.Allie,don’tletmedisappear.Allie,don’tletmedisappear.Please,Allie."AndthenwhenI’dreachtheothersideofthestreetwithoutdisappearing,I’dthankhim.ThenitwouldstartalloveragainassoonasIgottothenextcorner.ButIkeptgoingandall.Iwassortofafraidtostop,Ithink—Idon’tremember,totellyouthetruth.IknowIdidn’tstoptillIwaswayupintheSixties,pastthezooandall.ThenIsatdownonthisbench.Icouldhardlygetmybreath,andIwasstillsweatinglikeabastard.Isatthere,Iguess,foraboutanhour.Finally,whatIdecidedI’ddo,IdecidedI’dgoaway.IdecidedI’dnevergohomeagainandI’dnevergoawaytoanotherschoolagain.IdecidedI’djustseeoldPhoebeandsortofsaygood-bytoherandall,andgiveherbackherChristmasdough,andthenI’dstarthitchhikingmywayoutWest.WhatI’ddo,Ifigured,I’dgodowntotheHollandTunnelandbumaride,andthenI’dbumanotherone,andanotherone,andanotherone,andinafewdaysI’dbesomewhereoutWestwhereitwasveryprettyandsunnyandwherenobody’dknowmeandI’dgetajob.IfiguredIcouldgetajobatafillingstationsomewhere,puttinggasandoilinpeople’scars.Ididn’tcarewhatkindofjobitwas,though.Justsopeopledidn’tknowmeandIdidn’tknowanybody.IthoughtwhatI’ddowas,I’dpretendIwasoneofthosedeaf-mutes.ThatwayIwouldn’thavetohaveanygoddamstupiduselessconversationswithanybody.Ifanybodywantedtotellmesomething,they’dhavetowriteitonapieceofpaperandshoveitovertome.They’dgetboredashelldoingthatafterawhile,andthenI’dbethroughwithhavingconversationsfortherestofmylife.Everybody’dthinkIwasjustapoordeaf-mutebastardandthey’dleavemealone.