Над пропастью во ржи

           IlikehimtentimesasmuchastheDisciples,thatpoorbastard.Iusedtogetinquiteafewargumentsaboutit,whenIwasatWhootonSchool,withthisboythatliveddownthecorridor,ArthurChilds.OldChildswasaQuakerandall,andhereadtheBibleallthetime.Hewasaverynicekid,andIlikedhim,butIcouldneverseeeyetoeyewithhimonalotofstuffintheBible,especiallytheDisciples.HekepttellingmeifIdidn’tliketheDisciples,thenIdidn’tlikeJesusandall.HesaidthatbecauseJesuspickedtheDisciples,youweresupposedtolikethem.IsaidIknewHepickedthem,butthatHepickedthematrandom.IsaidHedidn’thavetimetogoaroundanalyzingeverybody.IsaidIwasn’tblamingJesusoranything.Itwasn’tHisfaultthatHedidn’thaveanytime.IrememberIaskedoldChildsifhethoughtJudas,theonethatbetrayedJesusandall,wenttoHellafterhecommittedsuicide.Childssaidcertainly.That’sexactlywhereIdisagreedwithhim.IsaidI’dbetathousandbucksthatJesusneversentoldJudastoHell.Istillwould,too,ifIhadathousandbucks.IthinkanyoneoftheDiscipleswould’vesenthimtoHellandall—andfast,too—butI’llbetanythingJesusdidn’tdoit.OldChildssaidthetroublewithmewasthatIdidn’tgotochurchoranything.Hewasrightaboutthat,inaway.Idon’t.Inthefirstplace,myparentsaredifferentreligions,andallthechildreninourfamilyareatheists.Ifyouwanttoknowthetruth,Ican’tevenstandministers.Theonesthey’vehadateveryschoolI’vegoneto,theyallhavetheseHolyJoevoiceswhentheystartgivingtheirsermons.God,Ihatethat.Idon’tseewhythehelltheycan’ttalkintheirnaturalvoice.Theysoundsophonywhentheytalk.

           Anyway,whenIwasinbed,Icouldn’tprayworthadamn.EverytimeIgotstarted,IkeptpicturingoldSunnycallingmeacrumb-bum.Finally,Isatupinbedandsmokedanothercigarette.