Риф, или Там, где разбивается счастье

XXVI

           “Goaway?You?Don’tyouseethatthatwouldtelleverything—drageverybodyintothehorror?”

           Hefoundnoanswer,andhervoicedroppedbacktoitscalmernote.“Whatgoodwouldyourgoingdo?Doyousupposeitwouldchangeanythingforme?”Shelookedathimwithamusingwistfulness.“Iwonderwhatyourfeelingformewas?ItseemsqueerthatI’veneverreallyknown—Isupposewedon’tknowmuchaboutthatkindoffeeling.Isitliketakingadrinkwhenyou’rethirsty?...Iusedtofeelasifallofmewasinthepalmofyourhand...”

           Hebowedhishumbledhead,butshewentonalmostexultantly:“Don’tforaminutethinkI’msorry!Itwaswortheverypennyitcost.Mymistakewasinbeingashamed,justatfirst,ofitshavingcostsuchalot.Itriedtocarryitoffasajoke—totalkofittomyselfasan‘adventure’.I’dalwayswantedadventures,andyou’dgivenmeone,andItriedtotakeyourattitudeaboutit,to‘playthegame’andconvincemyselfthatIhadn’triskedanymoreonitthanyou.Then,whenImetyouagain,IsuddenlysawthatIhadriskedmore,butthatI’dwonmore,too—suchworlds!I’dbeentryingallthewhiletoputeverythingIcouldbetweenus;nowIwanttosweepeverythingaway.I’dbeentryingtoforgethowyoulooked;nowIwanttorememberyoualways.I’dbeentryingnottohearyourvoice;nowIneverwanttohearanyother.I’vemademychoice—that’sall:I’vehadyouandImeantokeepyou.”Herfacewasshininglikehereyes.“Tokeepyouhiddenawayhere,”sheended,andputherhanduponherbreast.

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