Риф, или Там, где разбивается счастье

XII

           

           “AndyoumeantobreakthenewstoherassoonasshecomesbackfromOuchy?”

           “AssoonasIseemywaytoit.Sheknowsthegirlandlikesher:that’sourhope.Andyetitmay,intheend,proveourdanger,makeitharderforusall,whenshelearnsthetruth,thanifOwenhadchosenastranger.Ican’ttellyoumoretillI’vetoldher:I’vepromisedOwennottotellanyone.AllIaskyouistogivemetime,togivemeafewdaysatanyrateShe’sbeenwonderfully‘nice,’asshewouldcallit,aboutyou,andaboutthefactofmyhavingsoontoleaveGivre;butthat,again,maymakeitharderforOwen.Atanyrate,youcansee,can’tyou,howitmakesmewanttostandbyhim?Yousee,Icouldn’tbearitiftheleastfractionofmyhappinessseemedtobestolenfromhis—asifitwerealittlescrapofhappinessthathadtobepiecedoutwithotherpeople’s!”SheclaspedherhandsonDarrow’sarm.“Iwantourlifetobelikeahousewithallthewindowslit:I’dliketostringlanternsfromtheroofandchimneys!”

           Sheendedwithaninwardtremor.Allthroughherexpositionandherappealshehadtoldherselfthatthemomentcouldhardlyhavebeenlesswellchosen.InDarrow’splaceshewouldhavefelt,ashedoubtlessdid,thathercarefullydevelopedargumentwasonlythedisguiseofanhabitualindecision.Itwasthehourofallotherswhenshewouldhavelikedtoaffirmherselfbybrushingasideeveryobstacletohiswishes;yetitwasonlybyopposingthemthatshecouldshowthestrengthofcharactershewantedhimtofeelinher.

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