Риф, или Там, где разбивается счастье

XI

           “SurelyyouandIneedn’tarrangethelightsbeforeweshowourselvestoeachother.IwantyoutoseemejustasIam,withallmyirrationaldoubtsandscruples;theoldonesandthenewonestoo.”

           Hecamebacktohisseatbesideher.“Nevermindtheoldones.Theywerejustified—I’mwillingtoadmitit.Withthegovernesshavingsuddenlytobepackedoff,andEffieonyourhands,andyourmother-in-lawill,Iseetheimpossibilityofyourlettingmecome.Ievenseethat,atthemoment,itwasdifficulttowriteandexplain.Butwhatdoesallthatmatternow?ThenewscruplesaretheonesIwanttotackle.”

           Againherhearttrembled.Shefeltherhappinesssonear,sosure,thattostrainitclosermightbelikeachild’scrushingapetbirdinitscaress.Butherverysecurityurgedheron.Forsolongherdoubtshadbeenknife-edged:nowtheyhadturnedintobrightharmlesstoysthatshecouldtossandcatchwithoutperil!

           “Youdidn’tcome,andyoudidn’tanswermyletter;andafterwaitingfourmonthsIwroteanother.”“AndIansweredthatone;andI’mhere.”

           “Yes.”Sheheldhiseyes.“ButinmylastletterIrepeatedexactlywhatI’dsaidinthefirst—theoneIwroteyoulastJune.ItoldyouthenthatIwasreadytogiveyoutheanswertowhatyou’daskedmeinLondon;andintellingyouthat,Itoldyouwhattheanswerwas.”

           “Mydearest!Mydearest!”Darrowmurmured.

           “Youignoredthatletter.Allsummeryoumadenosign.AndallIasknowis,thatyoushouldfranklytellmewhy.”

           “IcanonlyrepeatwhatI’vejustsaid.

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