IX
HerosenextmorningwiththeresolvetoknowwhatAlexathoughtofhim.Itwasnotanchoringinahaven,butlyingtoinastorm—hefelttheneedofatemporarylullintheturmoilofhissensations.
Hecamehomelate,fortheywerediningaloneandheknewthattheywouldhavetheeveningtogether.Whenhefollowedhertothedrawing-roomafterdinnerhethoughthimselfonthepointofspeaking;butasshehandedhimhiscoffeehesaid,involuntarily:“Ishallhavetocarrythisofftothestudy,I’vegotalotofworkto-night.”
Aloneinthestudyhecursedhiscowardice.Whatwasitthathadwithheldhim?Acertainbrightunapproachablenessseemedtokeephimatarm’slength.Shewasnotthekindofwomanwhosecompassioncouldbecircumvented;therewasnochanceofslippingpasttheoutposts;hewouldnevertakeherbysurprise.Well—whynotfaceher,then?Whatheshrankfromcouldbenoworsethanwhathewasenduring.Hehadpushedbackhischairandturnedtogoupstairswhenanewexpedientpresenteditself.Whatif,insteadoftellingher,heweretoletherfindoutforherselfandwatchtheeffectofthediscoverybeforespeaking?Inthiswayhemadeovertochancetheburdenoftherevelation.
Theideahadbeensuggestedbythesightoftheformulaenclosingthepublisher’scheck.Hehaddepositedthemoney,butthenoticeaccompanyingitdroppedfromhisnote-caseasheclearedhistableforwork.ItwastheformulausualinsuchcasesandrevealedclearlyenoughthathewastherecipientofaroyaltyonMargaretAubyn’sletters.