Возвращение на родину

I. “Wherefore Is Light Given to Him That Is in Misery”

           

           “Yougiveyourselfuptoomuchtothiswearyingdespair,”saidEustacia.“Othermen’smothershavedied.”

           “Thatdoesn’tmakethelossofmineless.Yetitislessthelossthanthecircumstancesoftheloss.Isinnedagainsther,andonthataccountthereisnolightforme.”

           “Shesinnedagainstyou,Ithink.”

           “No,shedidnot.Icommittedtheguilt;andmaythewholeburdenbeuponmyhead!”

           “Ithinkyoumightconsidertwicebeforeyousaythat,”Eustaciareplied.“Singlemenhave,nodoubt,arighttocursethemselvesasmuchastheyplease;butmenwithwivesinvolvetwointhedoomtheypraydown.”

           “Iamintoosorryastatetounderstandwhatyouarerefiningon,”saidthewretchedman.“Dayandnightshoutatme,’Youhavehelpedtokillher.’ButinloathingmyselfImay,Iown,beunjusttoyou,mypoorwife.Forgivemeforit,Eustacia,forIscarcelyknowwhatIdo.”

           Eustaciawasalwaysanxioustoavoidthesightofherhusbandinsuchastateasthis,whichhadbecomeasdreadfultoherasthetrialscenewastoJudasIscariot.Itbroughtbeforehereyesthespectreofaworn-outwomanknockingatadoorwhichshewouldnotopen;andsheshrankfromcontemplatingit.YetitwasbetterforYeobrighthimselfwhenhespokeopenlyofhissharpregret,forinsilenceheenduredinfinitelymore,andwouldsometimesremainsolonginatense,broodingmood,consuminghimselfbythegnawingofhisthought,thatitwasimperativelynecessarytomakehimtalkaloud,thathisgriefmightinsomedegreeexpenditselfintheeffort.

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