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Chapter 20
Doyouknow‘happymedium’aretwowordswhichmean‘miserablemediocrity’?Isay,gofirstclassorthird;marryaduchessorherkitchenmaid.Thehappymediummeansrespectability,andrespectabilitymeansinsipidness.Doesitnot,Mr.Pooter?”
Iwassotakenabackbybeingpersonallyappealedto,thatIcouldonlybowapologetically,andsayIfearedIwasnotcompetenttoofferanopinion.Carriewasabouttosaysomething;butshewasinterrupted,forwhichIwasratherpleased,forsheisnotcleveratargument,andonehastobeextraclevertodiscussasubjectwithamanlikeMr.Huttle.
Hecontinued,withanamazingeloquencethatmadehisunwelcomeopinionspositivelyconvincing:“Thehappymediumisnothingmoreorlessthanavulgarhalf-measure.Amanwholoveschampagneand,findingapinttoolittle,fearstofaceawholebottleandhasrecoursetoanimperialpint,willneverbuildaBrooklynBridgeoranEiffelTower.No,heishalf-hearted,heisahalf-measure—respectable—infact,ahappymedium,andwillspendtherestofhisdaysinasuburbanvillawithastucco-columnportico,resemblingafour-postbedstead.”
Wealllaughed.
“Thatsortofthing,”continuedMr.Huttle,“belongstoasoftman,withasoftbeardwithasofthead,withamadetiethathookson.